Monday 29 June 2020

The Great Beyond

Last night I watched "Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond". I'd seen it before, but had forgotten. It's a documentary about the filming of Man on the Moon, the biographical film about Andy Kaufman. Rather infamously, Jim Carrey did not drop character on the set.

Near the start of the documentary, Jim mentions doing a lot of the "envisioning a thing and then getting it" mental self help thing. As the documentary continues, the interviews with Jim keep referring to Jim being unhappy and unwell. First, the characters Jim is portraying in the 90s talk about their perception of Jim. Then the interviewer asks if it was him talking about how he was, and they talk about that. Then, near the end, Jim says that it was devastating stopping being Andy, because he could no longer escape into being Andy.

In parallel to this is the Andy Kaufman narrative, of someone discovering they had advanced cancer and dying young. Kaufman died at 35, younger than I am now.

The pandemic is a traumatic event, for all we make light of it. For me, I don't cope well with things I can't control, particularly unexpected ones. It's put lives on hold, but then you realise you've never envisioned anything. You don't fail if you don't try.

I'm usually pottering about in the psychological levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Even this blog is more about my need for esteem, and my painting provides a feeling of accomplishment for completing something rather than a creative outlet.

I suspect for many of us, our escapism is the wargaming hobby. I also have LARPing, or rather, I usually do, when I'm allowed to go places and meet them.

But there's a healthy balance. It's healthy to escape from stresses and relax. It's less healthy to try and escape from a lack of ambition to make things better for yourself.

This is a lot of words to say "I painted some barrels. Fenris Miniatures make them, and you should check out their site and support their company."


  1. I had to look up Maslow's hierarchy of needs but that was a good read.

    1. Thanks very much! It's a bit weird and contemplative for a hobby blog...

    2. Fear of failure has held me back all my life. But I'm trying. I'm also stoned.